Ever feel like having a lot of friends is way harder than it should be? It has become increasingly obvious to me that this is true. Doesn’t mean that I plan on getting rid of any friends however, but I am just noticing that the more friends I have the harder and harder it is remember to call each of them, make plans to hang out, or simply check in. I have even had a one person finally call and ask why I hadn’t talk to her in awhile. Well… why didn’t you call me if you wanted to talk? That should be the obvious response…but somehow this concept seems to elude people. I get the impression that because I am the happy, conversational, social person that I am, most people think that I should be the one who calls them, and makes the plans. I don’t mind necessarily, but it is frustrating when they seem to be mildly upset that I have not. I don’t want to sound rude at all when saying this, just being honest… but…. “If you want to talk or hang out, ask me!” It’s pretty simple. I don’t always think about it because I actually have a lot I keep myself busy with. Things I choose to do yes, but I am busy and may not always think to make that all important phone call (or text).
THEN…. there are the friends who boggle my mind even more. People who seem to drop you for no apparent reason… or at the very least, no reason that you can think of. You call, leave messages, text, send private Facebook messages, etc. Nothing. No return anything. This wouldn’t be so bad if you weren’t that close to begin with but when you are, well… it’s very upsetting. Just be an adult and say something. Write back out of politeness. Tell me that you just aren’t feeling the friendship anymore. Just like in a romantic relationship I feel like friendships need that sense of closure as well. It can drive a person mad not knowing why someone isn’t speaking to them anymore. It is hurtful… frustrating…and although knowing might possibly hurt even more…at least you get that closure and can more easily move on. Maybe even learn from whatever it was that made he/she want to pull away to begin with.
Funny how Facebook has changed the entire way friendships are shaped, made, and ended. Now if you delete someone from your FB it essentially means that you no longer want to be friends in real life. When in reality, maybe you like them just fine but simply don’t want to see them on your page anymore. Maybe you are slimming down how many “friends” you have on your list. People take it very personally and you almost have to leave everyone you have ever met on there just as a precautionary tactic so you don’t accidentally offend someone. Not that I do that mind you, I delete people all the time. lol But it is interesting how vital it has become to our daily lives. Party invitations are no longer sent via postmaster… you send a FB invite. Announcing a birth, pregnancy… hell… even a divorce!!… all via FB. You can notify the world with just one click that you are in a relationship… or now ending one. There is no end to the possibilities. And I am just as guilty as the next person. I wake up and check it first thing… it’s like some sick addiction that I don’t mind having. 😉
I am sure I could write more and more on this whole topic of friendship… about how friends never take the perfectly good advice you give, or how they can expect too much from you all the time. But this isn’t a book I am writing here so I will end it for now. Thanks for reading people!